Today I noticed myself being overly conscious of what people think of my posts. Some examples of what I was worried people were thinking are:
- “Why does she post IG stories so frequently?”
- “Doesn’t she have too much time on her hands?”
- “She’s such an oversharer.”
- “Why did/didn’t she share that post? I thought she was Catholic/a serious person/a humanities student.”
- “Why did she stop posting about her Lolo? I thought she was so upset he passed away.”
- “Why is she tweeting all of a sudden? And why did she disappear in the first place?”
All these “accusations” were bubbling up inside of me until, rather upset, I burst out (quietly, in my room, to myself) who says social media has to be for other people, anyway?
Why can’t social media be for me?
Okay, it’s probably not very clear what exactly I mean by this. But a few examples will probably illustrate my point well.
When I saw some IG stories of a mom whose daughter was nearing a year old, it crossed my mind that it would be a cool (well, to me anyway) alternative to scrapbooks to have a private account with few to no followers to document every moment of your child’s life! With either Instagram posts or stories, you could capture your baby’s afternoon naps on your chest, his or her first steps, his or her joy at pulling books out of shelves and towels out of closets, and have that forever!*
I also have two more (personal) examples. I posted a story to my Instagram account this morning. I’ve been posting every other day about the dwarf sunflowers our family bought a few days ago (pictured above!). After that I was just idly scrolling between morning tasks and chanced upon a post that I wanted other people to see. I was going to share that to my story too, but thought crossed my mind at that moment: “But I just posted! People are gonna judge me, why am I so madaldal* kasi on social media?”
A few moments later, I asked myself, “But who cares?” Does anyone actually check the time stamps on IG stories to monitor how often people post? I doubt it. We all have lives to live, things to do! It may so happen that the time stamp catches your attention, but if thoughts like these have crossed your mind, I’ll say it for both of us — other people aren’t policing our behavior! They aren’t judging our every move (or post)! It’s highly unlikely that they devote any more mindspace to your activity on social media than a passing thought that they probably won’t even remember.
(…yes, I know it’s hard to remind yourself about this, and even harder to be convinced that it’s true. But if it helps even for a while that I’ve written this and that you’ve read it, I’ll be happy!)
And besides, I realized it’s kinda therapeutic to play with filters, decorate pictures with doodles, insert text and cute stickers and gifs, and share them with your friends. Of the number that see your story, who actually takes the time to reply, or to dwell on what you’ve posted? Just a few people. A lot of people probably skip through all the stories of everyone they follow “just because” (a few people I know are like this). And if it sparks joy, as Marie Kondo would say, and it’s not hurting anyone, why not give it a try?
My second personal example is about my Twitter account this time. I’m usually never on my personal Twitter account because I’ve kind of been hiding from the world — for various reasons that I may write about in future Medium stories, but let’s see — but I suddenly got the urge to just speak out into the void of the internet, not really expecting a reply, about my inability to type an ñ in Google Docs. (Seriously though. Is it just me?*) Being an aspiring historian who wants to write about Philippine history, I encounter quite a lot of ñ’s as I read and write, thank you very much. So, as one does, I took to Twitter to ponder about it “aloud,” in a fashion.
Then I remembered that I was hiding from the world.
It became a sort of personal rule for me that I wouldn’t tweet anything personal, but just like and retweet from time to time, so that nobody would think of messaging me and asking how I was. I wasn’t ready for those kinds of conversations.
My chest sort of seized up in fear before I pressed the “tweet” button, but then I exhaled and thought: Who cares?
Is it even likely that they’ll notice I’ve tweeted something after some time? Their algorithms (yeah Twitter, I see you) are all different so for all I know, no one but me will see my tweet.
With a new sense of freedom I then tweeted to my heart’s content, replied to a few of my friends’ tweets, and retweeted a cute picture of an embroidered frog.
I then took to Medium to write the story that you are currently reading.
Social media may be a difficult beast to deal with. There’s a lot wrong with it, and it can be manipulated to serve the ends of the highest bidder (see “The Great Hack” and “The Social Dilemma”, very interesting documentaries). But while these changes are taking place at a global scale, I realize I can make changes on a personal level, too.
If I want to, I can use social media to post updates about my life. To spread awareness of causes close to my heart. To run a small business. To share ideas with people. To a certain extent, I can make it what I want to be! I can use it to tell my story. Isn’t that great?
While there will always be the temptation to constantly inspect how much engagement our posts get, I think it’s a good idea to think about how we’re engaging with the content we put online. What’s it for? First of all, is it for me, in the best and most healthy way?
Leaving these thoughts here for your pondering as well as mine. Until my next story! Thanks for your time!
*Yes, I’ve watched The Great Hack and The Social Dilemma and am aware that this might not entirely be safe. But I gave this as an example that not all of our activity on social media platforms has to be directed to some sort of audience.
*madaldal, adj.: a Filipino word that means “talkative” in English. Not 100% sure I used it grammatically correctly, but I just wrote what sprang to mind at that moment, haha!
*…it’s just me. I’ve been kindly informed that it is indeed possible! Great!
